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Friday, November 18, 2011

The Girl in The Paper Dress- Alternative text

Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived in the city.  She once lived with her parents who owned a house on the city’s side with the green grass.  They went on family vacations, and had quality family time on the weekends. 

But one day, her father’s company went under and he lost his job.  She then had to move to another part of the city…A place many call the side with the cold concrete.  The area was very different than what she was used to.  The side with the cold concrete had no flowers, or nicely paved sidewalks.  The girl suddenly felt sad.  She didn’t recall any of her friends ever associating with the kids who lived on the side with the cold concrete. 

Her father found a job driving a garbage truck, and the girl found a part-time job selling bread at a local bakery.  Her boss, Mrs. X, was very nice and cared very deeply about the girl.  Even though the bakery was a small business trying to stay afloat, the girl loved her job at the bakery.  Mr. X taught her how to make the best cookies the girl has ever tasted. 

She knew her father was having a hard time, but she promised him that she would stay in school.  Her father is very proud of her.  One day, she hopes to bake bread and cookies just like Mrs. X, and run her own business.

One day, she heard a rumor in school about a dance over in the city’s side with the green grass.  It sounded really fun, but the girl wondered if she would be welcome.

“Of course you can go!” said Mrs. X.   “But be sure to be back after midnight to clean up the kitchen.”  The girl thanked Mrs. X and thought about what she was going to wear at the dance.

“What should I do?” the girl thought to herself.  She no longer owned the nice dresses she used to wear for social outings, and they could not go out to buy a brand new dress.   She looked around her room to find a stack of old newspapers. 

She had a crazy idea.  “I wonder if I can make a dress out of newspapers?” she asked herself.  Then, she started taking some tape and scissors to make herself a dress.  She then went off to the city’s side with the green grass.  She looked at everyone at the dance and frowned.  Although she liked her creativity, she saw that everyone else was wearing beautiful white suits dresses.  She got uncomfortable and started to walk home. 

As she was about to walk out, she saw a boy sitting alone looking sad.  He was wearing a white suit like everyone else.  The girl was first puzzled because everyone else seemed like they were having fun.  The girl decided to walk up to him and ask him why he isn’t at the party.  The boy immediately opened up to her.
“I’m getting frustrated with people here.  I came here to have a good time, but all people like talking about is their brand new car.  I didn’t come here to hear about that.  People talk about that all the time.”

The girl hasn't really thought about it, but he was right.  When she was living in her old house, she remembered that she invited her friends over to her house to show everyone the latest vacation photos, to her new toys.  "I really want to get out of here." said the boy. "Where do you want to go?" asked the girl.  The boy thought for a minute "I don't know, just somewhere where people are not so shallow and unappreciative."

The girl thought of an idea.  “I come from the other side of town.  Would you like to come with me ? I can make delicious cookies and introduce you to my wonderful boss!”  The boy smiled and nodded.  "You know, I really like your dress. I think its very creative!" Said the boy.  The girl thanked him and the two casually walked away from the party.  The two went off to the city’s side with the cold concrete.  The girl was worried how her new friend might think of her taking him to the other side of town.
"I lived on the side with cold concrete once.  My parents used to clean the houses for very wealthy people.  But then my father won a lot of money at the lottery a few years ago.  I liked the change at first, but then I really started to miss this side of town." explained the boy.  The girl told him about how she got to the other side of town too.  

It was around 9 PM, and Mrs. X was about to close her store.  “You don’t have to be back for another three hours!”
“That's okay Mrs. X.  It didn’t look very fun anyway,” said the girl. The boy then introduced himself to Mrs. X, and they all went inside the bakery.  

The girl made the boy cookies, which they both shared together.  "These are delicious.  I think you can run your own bakery!" Said the boy.  The girl told him about her plans on being a professional baker and going to culinary school.  The boy was very interested in the girl who brought him into her shop.

They talked about their favorite books and movies, and shared each other stories about their past lives.  "Thank you so much for bringing me over.  I was starting to get really unhappy.  But you really made my day."
The girl smiled.  "I'm happy that you could come.  I was getting nervous at the party because my dress was not as nice as everyone else"
"Thats silly.  I think you have a beautiful dress.  You have a lot of creativity and its going to help you with your business," said the boy.   He's very sweet, thought the girl.  The girl liked the boy.
"I really should be going now.  I need to be home by midnight," said the boy.
"I need to close the shop anyway...Will I see you again?" the girl asked shyly.
"I'd like that.  You are the only true friend I can open up to." said the boy.  Before he left, he gave the girl a hug and left her his number on the table.

What a wonderful night, thought the girl.  She could tell how unhappy the boy was with his sudden wealth and his new supposed friends.  I can make him happy, thought the girl.  She looked at the boy walking back to the other side of town thinking that grass was maybe not always greener on the other side.  

1 comment:

  1. I like what you've done with your alt version Noel. There are just a couple of parts that need to be slowed down somewhat.

    1) when the girl invites the boy to make cookies
    2) the end

    I think the abruptness of these two parts takes away from your storyline.

    I look forward to your final piece.

    vivian

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